Yoga for Grief

I never really thought about how yoga can help the grieving process until I started to emotionally prepare myself for the anniversary of my best friend’s death.

It’s been thirteen years since we lost Matt. A tattoo on the inside of my left wrist is a subtle reminder to live the way he would. To the fullest. I think of him often, and while the day-to-day living has gotten significantly easier… somehow on this specific day my heart breaks all over again. On this day, instead of remembering the bold, beautiful, exciting, and vibrant things Matt brought to my life, I remember how it felt to loose him.

When consumed by sadness, my feelings begin to manifest in physical ways: My body feels heavy and lethargic, my throat and chest are tight, I have zero appetite, and trouble sleeping. Today I began experimenting with a few asanas that target the areas I’m holding onto my grief. I treated my practice as if I were nursing a physical injury instead of an emotional one. I began moving slowly, gently, mindfully, with intention and zero expectations… the results exceeded my expectations. With each breath, each movement I felt more physically energized. During savasana, I allowed myself to be. Today being included a lot of tears. Afterwords if I felt emotionally stronger, focused, and more grounded.

Child’s Pose (Balasana) – Child’s pose is a grounding pose. It gently stretches the hips, thighs, and ankles while calming the mind and relieving stress and fatigue.

Sit your hips towards the heels (place a blanket under your feet if it is uncomfortable to sit on the feet) with your forehead to the mat and arms reaching overhead. Take 5-10 deep breaths here.

Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana) – Stretches the chest, shoulders, abs, and back while strengthening the spine. Opens the lungs (therapeutic for asthma), creates energy and heat in the body, and helps to relieve stress and fatigue.

Lay on your belly with your forehead on the mat, and palms beneath the shoulders. Draw the elbows in towards the ribcage and bring the legs together with the tops of the feet pressing into the floor. Slightly scoop the tailbone under and press your pelvis into the mat while lifting the upper body. Test your height by lifting your hands by the mat. The feet stay connected to the ground. Hold here for 3-5 rounds of breath, or lift on an inhale/lower on an exhale three times.

Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) – Stretches shoulders, hamstrings, calves and ankles, hands and feet. Strengthens the arms and legs. Improves digestion,

Begin in a tabletop position with the wrists below shoulders and knees hip-width distance apart. Spread the fingers wide apart, tuck your toes under, and on an exhale lift your hips into the air. Press the mat away from you with your hands, and rotate the triceps towards one another so that the “eyes” of your elbows face the front of the mat. Shoulders roll down and away from the ears, drop the crown of your head towards the earth, and gaze past your knees. Keep a slight bend in the knees, lift the sitz bones towards the ceiling, and make sure that the outer edges of your feet are parallel. Eventually, the heels may begin to stretch towards the ground. Take 5-10 breaths in this pose.

Low Crescent Lunge (Salamba Anjaneyasana) – Releases tension in the hips and stretches the hamstrings, quadriceps, and groin. The hips are said to be where we hold emotion and feelings like sadness, anger, anxiety, and frustration. Opening the hips helps to release physical and emotional tension.

From downward-facing dog, step the right foot between your hands and lower the left knee to the mat (you can place a blanket under your knee if you experience any discomfort). The right knee should be directly over the heel so that it is creating a 90-degree angle. Lift the torso on an inhale and either reach the arms overhead, or place the hands on the top of the thigh. Lift your pubic bone towards your navel. Stay here for 5 breaths. Repeat with the left leg.

Humble Warrior (Baddha Virabhadrasana) – Stretches the chest, shoulders, neck, and back. Strengthens the core, legs, calves, and ankles. This pose symbolizes bowing forward in reverence, and surrendering to where we are in this moment.

Begin in Warrior I. The right leg is forward with toes pointing towards the top of the mat. The left heel spins down, connecting to the floor with toes pointing towards the front left corner of the mat (approximately 45-degree angle). Bend the right knee so that it is directly over the right heel.

Interlace the fingers at the base of the spine, and widen through the collarbone. Begin to lower the torso. Begin to bow the torso forward. Eventually you may be able to reach the arms overhead, and release the head so that you’re gazing past the left knee. Push into the right foot to ensure your right hip stays in line with the left. Take 5 breaths here and reverse on the other side.

Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II) – Strengthens and stretches the legs, calves, and ankles. Stretches the inner thighs, hips, chest, and shoulders. Builds stamina and concentration, and inspires finding peace in the moment, especially in difficult places.

Start with the right leg is forward and toes pointing towards the top of the mat. The left heel spins down at a 90-degree angle (the outside of the foot is parallel to the back of the mat). Bend the right knee so that it is directly over the right heel. Stretch the arms so that they are parallel with the floor and in line with your shoulders, creating a “T” shape. Press the shoulders away from the ears and hug the shoulder blades together. Turn the head to the right and gaze past the right fingertips. Remain here for 5 rounds of breath and repeat with the left leg forward.

Camel Pose (Ustrasana) – Stretches the abdomen, chest, throat, hip-flexors and quadriceps. Stretches and strengthens back muscles. Provides release of stress and anxiety.

Begin kneeling with the knees hip-width distance apart (knees should be directly under the hip points), toes tucked or untucked. Bring the hands to the low back/hips with fingers reaching towards the floor. Lengthen the tailbone towards the floor and draw the elbows towards one another behind you. On an inhale lift the ribcage and on an exhale take a slight backbend. Hands can stay at the hips, or they can move to the heels. Press into the feet and think of sending the hips towards the top of the mat. Gaze can be towards the ceiling, or you can drop the crown of the head towards the floor if it isn’t uncomfortable for the neck. Remain here for 5 breaths.

Supported Fish Pose (Matsyasana) – Stretches the belly, intercostal muscles (muscles between the ribs), chest, upper back, neck, and throat. This is a grounding backbend which helps to focus and lighten your mood. This particular variation utilizes a block, so that you can relax and allow gravity to do the work.

Begin seated with knees bent and feet planted hip-width distance apart. Keeping the legs where they are, lower to the elbows which are beneath your shoulders and hands reaching towards your feet (forearms should be parallel and hugged closely in towards your body. Place a yoga block on the mat, and lower down so that it supports the space between the shoulder blades. Extend the legs, drawing the big toes towards one another. Stay here for 5-10 breaths.

Corpse Pose (Savasana) – Relaxes the body, calms the mind, relieves anxiety, and helps relieve stress and mild depression.

Lay on your back in a neutral position. Feet should be slightly wider than the hips. Allow the toes to fall away from the center of the body. Slightly tuck the pelvis to lengthen the low back, wiggle the shoulder blades beneath you to create more space in the front side of the body. Soften the jaw and relax the space between the eyes. Aim to stay here for 5 minutes for every 30 minutes of practice, but honestly, stay here for as little or as long as it feels good.

This week I was reminded that it’s okay to acknowledge your pain and sit with it. Grieving (even years later) isn’t a setback, but a reflection that this loved one was important to you. However, it’s also important to get up and move forward. Even if it’s slowly. xx

“Unravel my worries about whether it might always be this way. Keep me present to my healing process. Help me engage my grief with consciousness. Remind me that every tear shed comes from the tribunal source of life, the river of my vulnerable heart.” -Pixie Lighthorse, Honoring Sorrow from Prayers of Honoring Voice.

Advertisement

Yoga for Anxiety

Everyone experiences anxiety. Whether we’re working on a big project at work or in school, find ourselves running late, or have more chronic anxiety due to other elements in our lives – stress is a part of everyday life. Thankfully, anxiety doesn’t have to control you – and studies have found yoga can help!

Yoga requires focus and it teaches us to slow down, shut out the external world, and to be completely present in that moment. It occupies your mind, exerts your body, and soothes your soul. It allows space from your troubles, the never-ending to do list, eventually you may start to notice that your anxiety and worry begins to fade into the background until it completely evaporates. For me, personally, once I return to the world around me, everything seems a little bit brighter. And lighter. More manageable. And some days I really, really need that. (Read more about my relationship with anxiety here.)

These asanas, or poses, to help decrease anxiety by encouraging you to regulate your breath and relax your body by releasing muscular tension, providing your body and brain with fresh blood, oxygen, and other nutrients, and boosting those happy little sunshine endorphins. Plus, some of these poses can be challenging. They get you out of your own head. Who has time to worry about tomorrow’s presentation when you’re balancing on one leg trying not to crash in half moon?

puppy-pose

Extended Puppy Pose (Uttana Shishosana) – Begin in a tabletop position with the wrists below shoulders and knees hip-width distance apart. Walk the fingertips forward, and allow your chest to melt towards the ground while leaving the hips in the air, directly over the knees. Your forehead can come down to the floor, or you can gaze forward, past your fingertips. Stay here for 5 rounds of breath.

locust

Locust Pose (Salabhasana) – Lay on your belly with your forehead to the mat, palms beneath the shoulders with elbows hugged into the ribs, and legs together with big toes touching. On an inhale peel your upper body off the floor a few inches (you should be able to float the hands from the ground) with your gaze a few inches in front of you. Squeeze the lefts together and lift the legs, big toes still together and reaching the legs behind you. Hands can stay where they are, reach behind you (bound, as shown, or unbound), or overhead. Gaze should be on the floor a few inches in front of you to avoid compressing the back of the neck. Stay here for 3-5 breaths.

bow-pose

Bow Pose (Dhanurasana) – Begin in locust pose (shown above) with arms reaching behind you. Bend the knees and if your fingertips can easily brush the ankles, hold onto the outside your feet or the ankles and kick into the hands. Remain here for 5 breaths.

downward-dog

Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) – Begin in a tabletop position with the wrists below shoulders and knees hip-width distance apart. Spread the fingers wide apart, tuck your toes under and on an exhale lift your hips into the air. Press the mat away from you with your hands, and rotate the triceps towards one another so that the “eyes” of your elbows are reaching towards the top of your mat. Shoulders press away from the ears, and drop the crown of your head towards the earth as you gaze past your knees. Keep a slight bend in the knees, lift the sitz bones towards the ceiling, and make sure that the outer edges of your feet are parallel. Eventually, the heels may begin to stretch towards the ground. Take 5-10 breaths in this pose.

triangle
Triangle Pose (Trikonasana) – Stand with arms reaching out like a “t,” and feet about wrist distance apart (or a little closer together). The outer edges of the feet should be parallel. Bring the left hand to the hip and turn the right toes towards the front of the mat. Reach the rib cage over the right leg, and when you cannot extend any further, bring the right hand to rest on a block, the leg, or the floor. The torso should stay flat instead of twisting down towards the floor, so that if you did this pose against a wall (which you totally can!) the torso, both arms, legs, shoulders, and hips would be flat against it. Eventually read the left fingertips towards the sky and gaze can be directed towards the floor, straight ahead, or past the left fingertips. Remain here for 5 breaths and repeat on the left side.

half-moon-pose

Half Moon Pose (Ardha Chandrasana) – Stand with arms reaching out like a “t,” and feet about wrist distance apart (or a little closer together). The outer edges of the feet should be parallel. Bring the left hand to the hip and turn the right toes towards the front of the mat. Bend your right knee (Warrior II) and reach the rib cage over the right leg. When you cannot extend any further, bring the right hand to rest on a block, the leg, or the floor 6-12 inches in front of the right foot. Begin to straighten the right leg and lift your left leg from the mat so that it’s parallel to the floor. The left shoulder should be stacked over the right, and the right hand should be directly under the shoulders. The left leg is reaching through the heel towards the wall behind you with the left toes flexed towards the wall that you’re facing. The left hip is stacked over the right. Eventually the left fingertips can reach towards the ceiling. Gaze can be towards the floor, straight ahead, or past the left fingertips. Remain here for 5-10 breaths and repeat on the left side.

eagle
Eagle Pose
(Garudasana) – Begin standing, and slightly bend the knees. Transfer your weight onto the left foot and cross the right thigh over the right. Point your right toes towards the floor and wrap the right foot behind the left calf muscle, hooking the right toes around the left ankle.

Reach your arms out like a “t” and bend the elbows so that your fingertips are reaching towards the ceiling. Cross the arms in front of your chest (left over right) with the left elbow tucked into the crook of the right elbow. Leaving the elbows as they are,  wrap the wrists and press the palms into one another (the right wrist should be closest to your chest).

Hold for 5 breaths and repeat, balancing on the right foot.

camel-pose

Camel Pose (Ustrasana) – Begin kneeling with the knees hip-width distance apart (knees should be directly under the hip points), toes tucked or untucked. Bring the hands to the low back/hips with fingers reaching towards the floor. Lengthen the tailbone towards the floor and draw the elbows towards one another behind you. On an inhale lift the ribcage and on an exhale take a slight backbend. Hands can stay at the hips, or they can move to the heels. Press into the feet and think of sending the hips towards the top of the mat. Gaze can be towards the ceiling, or you can drop the crown of the head towards the floor if it isn’t uncomfortable for the neck. Remain here for 5 breaths.

baddha-konasana
Bound Angle Pose (Baddha Konasana) – Begin seated. Bend your knees and bring the soles of the feet together. Eventually begin to draw the feet towards your groin and press into the outter edges of the feet, opening your feet like a book so that you can see the soles. On an inhale sit as tall as possible, and on an exhale start to fold forward, leading with your sternum. Keep the back as flat as possible. Stay here for 5-10 breaths.

bridge-pose

Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana) – Start laying on your back with hands by your side, palms down. Bend your knees and plant your feet hip-width distance apart with the heels drawn in close towards your glutes. On an inhale press into the hands and feet and lift the hips from the mat while drawing the inner thighs towards one another to ensure the knees remain over your heels. Scoop your tailbone under and shift your weight into your feet to take pressure off of the low back. For more opening in the chest, begin to draw the shoulders beneath you, maybe even interlacing your fingers behind your back and pressing your fist into the mat. Remain here for 5 breaths.

Fish Pose (Matsyasana) – Begin seated with knees bent and feet planted hip-width distance apart. Keeping the legs where they are, lower to the elbows which are beneath your shoulders and hands reaching towards your feet (forearms should be parallel and hugged closely in towards your body. On an inhale, press into the palms and lift your ribcage towards the sky. Gaze can be focused towards the ceiling, and if it isn’t uncomfortable for your neck, begin to drop the crown of the head towards the floor. Eventually the crown of your head might actually rest on the ground. Variations include squeezing the legs together and floating the feet and arms, or with legs in padmasana (lotus pose). Stay here for 5 breaths.