I recently asked myself what I value most in a relationship.⁣⁣
Freedom in a relationship means a lot of things. For me, it’s room + support to grow individually. Solo time – both with myself and with friends. It’s not feeling the constant weight of responsibility to protect, heal, or teach my partner. Not being guilted or shamed for stepping away from conflict (or on hard days) to rest, reboot, and return in a clearer headspace. Freedom is open communication + safety to show the unedited versions of myself. The space to share nitty gritty details about my day, week, and past – along with time + patience when I’m not there yet. ⁣⁣
I have only loved truly extraordinary men. Extraordinary, but unhealed. I realized that the common denominator is me. I choose my partners. ⁣⁣
I have confused connection with compatibility. Common interests, values, and goals do not equate to a healthy relationship. Otherwise, I would have felt freedom in love.⁣⁣
I am both proud and grateful that I have chosen to be alone to explore and work on my own unhealed spaces. I’ve endured icky feelings ranging from anger and resentment to loneliness – all without distracting myself with new relationships. work projects, or an overactive social calendar. ⁣⁣
I’m evolving. Progressing and healing instead of repeating the same behaviors. ⁣⁣
It’s difficult. It isn’t always fun. But it’s been a liberating experience to do the work on my own instead of carrying it into another relationship.⁣⁣
Freedom is worth it. ⁣


Love Machine

Thank you for reminding me that the heart’s purpose is to deliver oxygen to the sacred waters that flow through me, and put my focus on the stewardship of my body and spirit. -Pixie Lighthorse

I was happy. Immensely happy. I woke up each morning thanking the sun, moon, stars, and my lover for choosing me. I was the luckiest girl on the planet.

Having the privilege of experiencing bliss makes the bitterness of loss felt more deeply. After shedding many, many tears and allowing myself to sit with the pain; feeling each sharp, jagged edge of my broken heart – I realize it’s knowing the promise that love exists that fans the flame of hope in my soul.

Every time your heart breaks, finding that kind of happiness again seems unimaginable. But each new love burns bigger and brighter than the last.

It’s out there. Waiting for me. And that makes it easier to get up and dust myself off to walk through another day.

I’ve moved forward with more ease than anticipated. With each new intimate connection, I find myself with a partner more in alignment with my values and in a healthier, more nurturing, more loving relationship.

It literally keeps getting better and better. Which means I’m on the right path. And I want to remain open for what comes next.

Hiding out and mourning the past will not make my heart available for new experiences. Setting out each day with faith, courage, compassion, love, and the willingness to share my heart with others does.

And this girl is made to love.

So get ready for it.

Mother Earth’s Lessons in Love

0E683B1B-5370-4FAD-B818-D2F821557C68-56024-00002AAD7AE58AC0This morning I was reminded that our greatest teacher, Mother Earth, sometimes has trouble letting go.

We are a quarter of they way through the month of April, and it was 34 degrees when I bundled up in my full length, furry-hooded coat to take Mr. Darcy out this morning. As we walked down the sidewalk lined with frosted spring flowers, I couldn’t help but relate to the Great Mother’s unwillingness to surrender to a new season.

It’s hard to move forward when you recognize love in something. Nobody can avoid falling in love. Especially when it is an organic love, sprouted from a mysterious seed that developed into the most exquisite bloom imaginable. One of those loves where you know the universe has your back. You can feel it fighting for your souls to connect because the coincidences are too many, too strange, and too strong.

The love we carry inside of us is a force of nature. It pulses through us, and spreads to everything it touches. The earth, and our love, has a circular rhythm. A cycle. As the seasons change, so do our lives, our relationships, and the way we give and receive love.

How strange it is to find yourself at the juncture, and realize your love is moving in different directions. How strange it is that after all that, we are once again strangers who may not cross paths again.

This morning, I sent out a little prayer to the Universe hoping you’re okay. That it’s okay. That all the parts of you I remember are still there, and that you grow stronger, wiser, and find more peace each day. I pray that you’re healing, and that you’re happy. Even if it’s not with me. Thank you for being part of my journey, and allowing me to take part in yours.