I recently asked myself what I value most in a relationship.⁣⁣
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FREEDOM. ⁣⁣
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Freedom in a relationship means a lot of things. For me, it’s room + support to grow individually. Solo time – both with myself and with friends. It’s not feeling the constant weight of responsibility to protect, heal, or teach my partner. Not being guilted or shamed for stepping away from conflict (or on hard days) to rest, reboot, and return in a clearer headspace. Freedom is open communication + safety to show the unedited versions of myself. The space to share nitty gritty details about my day, week, and past – along with time + patience when I’m not there yet. ⁣⁣
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I have only loved truly extraordinary men. Extraordinary, but unhealed. I realized that the common denominator is me. I choose my partners. ⁣⁣
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I have confused connection with compatibility. Common interests, values, and goals do not equate to a healthy relationship. Otherwise, I would have felt freedom in love.⁣⁣
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I am both proud and grateful that I have chosen to be alone to explore and work on my own unhealed spaces. I’ve endured icky feelings ranging from anger and resentment to loneliness – all without distracting myself with new relationships. work projects, or an overactive social calendar. ⁣⁣
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I’m evolving. Progressing and healing instead of repeating the same behaviors. ⁣⁣
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It’s difficult. It isn’t always fun. But it’s been a liberating experience to do the work on my own instead of carrying it into another relationship.⁣⁣
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Freedom is worth it. ⁣